Who Dat Girl?

I'm about to half-confess something I've never really told a soul.

There's this girl.

She loves the designers I love, in fact she loved them before I knew who they even were.

She has the job I want.

She got through school the way I wish I had, or currently was.

She associates with people I wanna associate with.

She's gorgeous.

She's brilliant.

She has amazing taste in clothes. Men. Food. Books. Music. Everything.

[And I am quite the snot when it comes to complimenting other people's taste.]

To me, she is fashion. She is living, breathing fashion.

While I think she's sort of an awful person, undeniably two-faced, a terrible friend, and ambitious to the point of throwing anyone at all under the bus, I envy her to pieces.

I want her work ethic. I want her wardrobe. I want her network.

I keep telling myself I don't want to actually be her because you know, everyone has a cross to bear, you don't know what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes, be careful what you wish for, yada yada yada.

Because, damn. I kinda wanna be her.

Or at least have all her shit.

There, I said it.

SIGH. OF. RELIEF.

♥ Lini.

Order & Progress

Do I keep wasting massive amounts of time doing nothing because I'm lazy or because I'm afraid of doing anything meaningful?

I know what I want.

Why am I not chasing after it instead of chilling with my cat looking out the window right now?

Sigh.

♥ Lini.

A Little Too Ironic

Few inspiration images.

Now for something that's been on my mind lately...

When you want something, really want something, how can you know that you actually want it or merely believe you do? How can you figure out what you truly desire? How can you know how badly you want it in comparison to someone else?

I want a successful job in the fashion industry. Partially because I love it, partially as a big fuck you to every professor who doubted me, every person who didn't see what was standing right in front of them, partially because I believe, or once believed, it was my calling, and partially because I believe in the sheer power of design, still. And always.

Design > Money.

But that's all just dandy.

How badly do I want it?

Enough to make it happen?

Enough to counteract luck or misfortune and whatever obstacles come my way?

How long can I want IT before something so much easier begins to look a hell of a lot better?

I mean how many people switch majors and careers?

How many people really do what they want in life?

Am I Ethan Frome, am I an Alanis Morissette song about irony?

Cause sometime I feel like both.

♥ Lini.

Peter Pan Panic Pumpkin Pie

I needed some motivational words. I needed some proof something good could possibly occur to me in the foreseeable future. Not trying to be jaded, but all arrows point to either changing plan of action or failing.

I want a job when I graduate. I want an entry level position as an assistant designer, or working in social media within the design department, or something involving art/fashion/design. I want to be somewhere warm. I want to make enough money to live not like a college student. That's all. Is that too much? Do I need to sell my soul and or integrity to achieve such seemingly small things?

I don't know what to do or how to and it seems like neither do the people I pay $30,000 yearly tuition either. Is this what growing up is?

New links, fan my facebook page and check my updated portfolio please. Sorry for the doom and gloom ♥

Peter Pan-Possessed Lini.