Who Dat Girl?

I'm about to half-confess something I've never really told a soul.

There's this girl.

She loves the designers I love, in fact she loved them before I knew who they even were.

She has the job I want.

She got through school the way I wish I had, or currently was.

She associates with people I wanna associate with.

She's gorgeous.

She's brilliant.

She has amazing taste in clothes. Men. Food. Books. Music. Everything.

[And I am quite the snot when it comes to complimenting other people's taste.]

To me, she is fashion. She is living, breathing fashion.

While I think she's sort of an awful person, undeniably two-faced, a terrible friend, and ambitious to the point of throwing anyone at all under the bus, I envy her to pieces.

I want her work ethic. I want her wardrobe. I want her network.

I keep telling myself I don't want to actually be her because you know, everyone has a cross to bear, you don't know what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes, be careful what you wish for, yada yada yada.

Because, damn. I kinda wanna be her.

Or at least have all her shit.

There, I said it.

SIGH. OF. RELIEF.

♥ Lini.

The Greatest Thing You Will Ever Learn

In terms of my education, in some ways, I feel I've learned more in the last week than I had in the past four years of college.

And painlessly.

Seamlessly.

If only I could bottle this methodology, I could take it right to the bank.

Why hasn't all my schooling been this insightful?

Do they just save the most useful information for seniors because we need to build up to it, layer semester upon semester to reach a final few months of relevance?

Or am I delusional, imagining I picked up on something of importance in the last handful of days?

♥ Lini.

Why you can't be a firefighter and an astronaut.

I hate the human need to categorize things. I like to think I see things in a broad sense, not in their most simple terms. A person can be an football player, but they can also be a musician, a French food connaisseur, a collector of bottle caps, and speak six languages. But people just think "Oh, he's into football." There's no possible way he could be any good at that, and do much of anything else, and if he is, he's doing something wrong. In class the other day my professor told us we should fight to maintain our interests. I agree as we get older they tend to narrow them down as we focus on our careers, especially since modern society forces us to "major". I just see myself as so much more then the handful of descriptive nouns and adjectives forced upon me.

The two pictures above are work I've done. Garments, graphics, and photos, 100% all mine. I like them, or did once before someone ripped them apart. By some standards they just weren't good enough. How is that for encouraging expression? How can anyone progress when placed under mounds of pressure and forced to sacrifice all loves but one? You'll end up resenting or at least occasionally questioning the one you choose.

I loved literature once. I gobbled up novels for breakfast. I fantasized living in the worlds of Emma Bovary and Scarlett O'Hara. I used to love recipes, I used to love cooking. I used to wake up and look forward to running a few miles before class. I once could recite the release dates for upcoming movies I couldn't wait to see, back when I loved movies.

Now I can't remember the last time I even read a simple book for leisure, let alone a great work. My meals now largely come wrapped in plastic and if I look tired, I assure you, it's not from a revitalizing morning jog. I couldn't tell you the last time I stepped into a movie theater. Where's the time when you're trying to live up to everyone else's standards for success in order to survive?

So, here's to the death of hobbies and curiosities. I only hope some good will come from complete and total specialization. I also hope this made some kind of sense, 3 am is approaching.

♥ Lini.