Momma Don't Preach

My mother, Katia.

Yesterday was 1/1/11. My dear friend was with me at 11:11 on this date and we made wishes as all those in our generation probably were as well. It reminded me of a story she had told me earlier about on all her birthdays. She blew out her candles, pressed her eyes shut, and wished for- well, she can't remember what she wished for. She can only remember hearing her mother shouting out "Happiness! Wish for happiness!", drowning out whatever desires and dreams she had thought up on her own.

I'm not sure why this story stuck with me so much. I mean to me, I think if one were truly happy, nothing else would matter. I like to think possessing the feeling of genuine, non-artificial happiness would give the owner to power to control everything else in their life, therefore making wishing for a perfect body, job, or spouse useless. On the other hand, I don't really buy into this whole "Money [or insert whatever else you want here] doesn't buy happiness" bullshit. What makes people unhappy? Being hungry, having debt, bad health, and in today's society let's be real, wanting things we can't have. Cure for all of the above, hate to say it, is a couple ole green backs.

So is it fair to force happiness upon someone? Is it fair to control your children? Mothers, maybe you've been told you know best, but mothers you're human too. And mothers, believe me, we children are overall thankful for the immeasurable amount of love you always give us. It's just sometimes we don't want happiness. We want a pony. Or a the star quarterback to ask us to prom. Or a new car. Or bigger boobs. Or for you to accept we're never going to be the child you prayed for because maybe we don't even believe in prayer ourselves.

Does anyone really even understand their children? Does anyone really even understand anyone?

Mothers, be good to your daughters.

[& sons, they're not too bad.]

-John Mayer, Daughters.

♥ Lini.

Last night I had a dream about... ?

For the last week and half or so I have been having the strangest dreams...

I'd like to take some time and analyze them, but generally they slip away from my memory before I get a chance to begin to understand them.

I'll stick with my daydreams instead...

I want to making bathing suits all the time.

Rosa Cha [pictures #2 & #3] hire me please.

♥ Lini.

The Villian Wins After Happily Ever After

I had a dream last night that I only just remembered, which in turn triggered a memory of a conversation I had with a friend yesterday.

We went to the beach. Nikki Beach, more specifically. I always had friends who raved about how South Beach was the best beach to go to in South Florida. Personally found it overrated, more partial to the Fort Lauderdale beaches myself. But, I was asked to go yesterday so I went. My love for beaches in general is far stronger than my preference for any particular one.

People have this idea of South Beach as a fabulous, gorgeous place. Filled with fabulous, gorgeous people doing fabulous, gorgeous things. I arrived to Nikki Beach and found... a beach. It was a very nice beach mind you, but in my head I had created this image of flawless beings sipping sparkling cocktails in dewy glasses sunbathing on white towels, evenly spaced beneath white umbrellas stabbed into fine grain sand. There were pretty people there, and umbrellas, and the water did feel perfect. It just wasn't some paradise straight from my imagination. I told my friend this and he pointed out my towel wasn't even white, so even if my fantasy vision were true, I would have destroyed it upon my arrival.

He is right in a way. My real life presense takes away from my imagination. I find myself constantly being disappointed because in my head, I see things as being so completely perfect and beautiful. It's impossible, at least in my eyes, for anything real to match up. So, I am never really satisfied. In my dream last night I imagined driving through a fantastic place. I can't describe it because for me, that would take away from what I saw in my head.

I guess that's why people make movies. And art. And why I want to make clothes. To camoflauge the truth. To fake what I dream and make it tangible.

It's very frustrating to need more and more to take your breath away. To be in love with beauty, but to have an increasingly high standard for what defines it.

Fairy tales aren't true?

♥ Lini.