I would totally love a career in FASHION!!

How To Fake Being A Fashionista:

Ten Easy Steps To Convincing The General Public You Possess Far More Style Than You Actually Do

1. Build up a wardrobe consisting of mostly black clothing. Once you feel ready for a challenge, experiment within the exciting worlds of white, greys, and beiges. Currently the proud owner of stacks and stacks of bold prints and bright solids? Throw them away, immediately! Or, better, drop them off at Goodwill. Update your status on various social networking sites about the generous donation you just made. Charities are so in right now.

2. Become obsessed with the appropriate fashion designers and labels. Name drop them as much as possible. Currently, you may want to focus on young Asian male designers. Cult favorites are Alexander Wang. Derek Lim. Phillip Lim. Jason Wu. Talk about your complete adoration for them whenever anyone stylish is in earshot.

3. Blog. Talk about blogs. Talk about what you saw on your favorites blogs. When in doubt, reading The Sartorialist and Jak & Jik are pretty much guaranteed to make you sound super trendy.

4. Calculate your salary, and figure out how much you earn in a month. It is unacceptable to spend any less than this amount on any pairs of shoes or any handbag. Also, exponentially decrease your caloric intake along with your increased spending on accessories. Skinny bitches make better fashionistas, fact.

5. Don’t forget the importance of beauty in partnership with fashion. Update your haircut as deemed appropriate. The bob? So 2009. Consider extensions if your mane is still sporting this super outdated cut.

6. Caffeine. The life of a fashionista requires quite a bit of energy. Refuel at your local fair-trade supplied coffee joint. Fair trade is so in right now.

7. Subscribe to a variety of magazines. The thicker and glossier the paper the better. Be seen reading them. Bonus points for European publications.

8. Recruit a gang of sassy gay friends. Known as GBF’s, the Gay Best Friend is a staple for any self-respecting fashionista. Bring him wherever you go. Have him give you styling tips and pick out potential suitors for you. Encourage him to be publicly fabulous. Show off your GBF!

9. Make your attitude as unpleasant as possible. Experiment with adding puckering your lips, snapping your fingers, rolling your eyes, and yawning to your daily exercise routine. Never underestimate the importance of body language. Be sure to exaggerate boredom or disgust at anything remotely unsightly.

10. Lastly, practice speaking like a fashionista. Refer to movies like Mean Girls, The Heathers, and Clueless for examples. Though a bit outdated, these films offer great examples of proper catch phrases and the correct pitch for your fashionista voice. Update yours to fit into the latest season, and you’ll be set! Remember, you’ll be spotted as a fraud unless you can correctly match how all the other fashionistas sound.

[Just a piece from my journalism class, enjoy!]

♥ Lini.