A certain je ne sais quois.

What is it about certain people which makes them attractive?

I don't mean in a physical sense, just in a sense which makes them appealing to those around them.

What is it about certain people whom I secretly cannot stand, yet other people find them fascinating, and cannot get enough of them?

[... Is that why I can't stand them? Can I not even admit that to myself?]

Why is it so easy to say "I don't care what other people think, I do what I want."?

Easier said then done.

How quickly our minds are made for us, even by the minds of others we don't particularly care for or respect. Or, worse- we intentionally, stubbornly refuse to listen those we should listen to solely because it stings too much to admit they might be onto something.

Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.

K. Vonnegut.

I think we're all becoming what we're pretending to be, because we're pretending to be something to please one another. Let's make a deal: I won't pretend for you, and you don't need to pretend for me.

Then maybe I'll remember who I am again.

How dreary it's become to be somebody.

Where's my nobody?

Does anyone know what this is a reference too? No? Lovely.

Goldilocks, peer pressured.

See what pretending gets you?

In other news, RIP my off-white double breasted coat Yes, it's just from H&M. Not exactly luxury. I still loved it. Apparently, love it in fact, once again, was not enough, because it is now completely destroyed*. I will never love a coat the way I loved that one. I even broke down and just searched jcrew.com [Please leave me alone, I'm heartbroken, and not thinking straight. Don't worry, I didn't find one close to my liking.] There wasn't even anything special about that coat. It was just nice and I liked it. Now it's ugly, dirty, stained, BURNED, and probably beyond repair. I'm beginning to feel embarrassed to wear it.

*You could argue my love for wine and curry may been so, so strong they just conquered my love of my coat. Perhaps love does exist, I take it all back.

♥ Lini.